"I'm not an idealist anymore, I'm a bitter realist
-SoeHokGie-
I found a interesting quote from Soe Hok Gie, if you don't know Soe Hok Gie, he is an Indonesia Activist who bring down Soekarno, the first Indonesia president down from his crown with all of college students in 60's era. Beside the one that I wrote down on this post, he still has a lot of quotes and it's all come from his idealist mind. I don't want to talk about his other quotes. I just want to talk about one of his quote, "I'm not an idealist anymore, I'm a bitter realist". I don't know the true meaning of this quote and why he can think like this. So, I try to take it and make my own meaning from this quote, because of that I want to say sorry if someone out there who read my post and know the true meaning of this quote, I just want to share my feeling about this quote.
I have heard another quote, but I don't know who is the maker. It said "some people say that idealism is the last luxury that young generation had" and now I want to see it from my view point and try to combine it with the first quote. Everyone has their dream and own idealism and of course I had my own idealism too it sound like this "be a candle that wiling to be burnt down just to light up the dark" and of course I never forget about my idealistic dream. But, in this modern era I think I will not survive if I just live from my idealism only. This era is like a jungle for me, the stronger will be winner and the weaker one will always be a loser. So, from that point of view I start to thinking and feel that I will not live for just one week with this idealism, I must face this cruel reality where people will fight each other just to have a single bread and a nice place to sleep. With environment as my teacher, now I understand I live in such bad world. starvation, war, corruption, and many other bad things happen and it seem no one care anymore. I can't say that all of people not care, but what I say is almost all people is doesn't care. They look busy with their own activity, and for what? MONEY. Without money you will not survive in this world, I don't care how smart you are, or how good you are, and how good looking you are, without money you will become nothing, am I right? I start to realize this when I saw a man that I admired so much because of his idelaism "to make this world especially Indonesia my country to be a better place" now start to crumble little by little just because of money. At the first I know him, he never talk about the money he like to said "do what you need to do, and money will come after that" but now he just think that "if you have an idea, it will not work if you don't have money. So, before thinking about an idea think about the budget, first" and you know, it really suck and I saw it with my own eye and hear with my own ear when he said that thing. After that I start to realize, you will not get a food just from your idealism only. I also find that some people even use his idealism to getting money for himself, example: he is a church activist, everyday he just give a lecture for young Catholic people about idealism and how as a Catholic you must act in this cruel world. But, in real life he just did it for money, he will make a proposal to Church and ask for fund to support his activity and of course to make him survive in this world. For these two type of person, I realize that all of people in this world is wearing a mask in order to survive, they throw away their ego, they throw away their idealism just to survive in this world, another example is: at the office, like or dislike a subordinate must always smile to the superior, is that right? It's okay if the superior is a good person. But, if the superior is a bad person are the subordinate will not smile to him/her? the answer will be a big no, all of subordinates will still smile to the superior whatever the superior look like. I start to understand that this kind of life that I need to live for. I need to wear a mask in front of anyone, even I try not to wear it. Now, I don't know who am I, I don't know either I wearing a mask or not. I start to confuse about what is the right thing and the bad thing, everything is so blur. So, back to the top, that's why I like the quote"I'm not an idealist anymore, I'm a bitter realist" like it or not, I need to bury down my idealism if I want to survive. I'm not saying that I will throw it away, I'm just saying that I will bury it deep inside my heart. So, even I wear a mask outside, at least I still realize that what I do is wrong and I still keep "the candle" burnt inside my heart and someday I will open my mask and I will light up this dark world. Yeah, "some people say that idealism is the last luxury that young generation had" and of course even right now I wearing a mask I still had my idealism dream deep inside my heart. and it still ready to blast out from my heart when the time is come....
Dart_leonhart
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